I am not one to be jealous of someone else. I have learned that the best part of life is to uplift others, be genuine, and love one another. But, when you are trying to conceive pregnancy announcements of people I am close to and NOT close to just began to affect me differently… made me feel jealous.
While eating dinner with my husband, I was scrolling down my Facebook time line and told him “So and so are pregnant.” We briefly had the pitty conversation of “How is everyone ELSE getting pregnant but us?!”
I reminded him it normally takes a couple a year to get pregnant, so we still had two months until we reached our 12 months of trying to have a baby.
We continued eating in silence.
I told him honestly, that recently I have been feeling different and not genuinely happy for all my friends that were getting pregnant. I still celebrated and congratulated them, but in the back of my mind I was wishing it were me. We never thought it would be this hard. Boy were we wrong.
I then took a moment and realized we were definitely heading toward the road of hopelessness. We were no longer being hopeful. We were just letting time and life go by, until.. well.. it happens. (Whenever that is.)
If you know me, you know I have always envisioned myself adopting a child. (Still in the plans for our future.) So, I asked him should we start the adoption research process sooner? Since we don’t know how long it will take for us to conceive our baby.
My husband gave me this look, and just told me we should visit the doctors first. I rolled my eyes, because that idea brought butterflies to my stomach. Oh the denial. I am a nurse. I know that is the best next step, but I could only imagine the worst possible outcomes.
I decided to drop the conversation, and work to being more positive. I reminded myself that God is in control, and it will be on His time.
Thanks for reading! How long did it take you to conceive your first child? What tips do you have to help a couple conceive?
-xoxo. Jeannette W.